‘Cameron’s Bullshit Soup’ Tapestry by Lucy Sparrow

Cuddly canned good.

Hardcore Pornfeltery

From the depths of my wooly debauched brain, I dug out some dirty images to influence this second felt porn mag I made for Modern Panic III last November. It’s a little dirtier than the last one but I think there’s still room for more filth in the series so expect the next one to take things to another level.

The Never-Ending Pregnancy

Have you ever noticed how a woodlouse always seems to be either in the late stages of pregnancy or in the process of giving birth? It’s as if the gestation period for a woodlouse is the time it takes for you to pick them up and just after you blink and re-open your eyes to see the dozens of albino-like specks popping out of its belly.

My knowledge of woodlice is very limited. There are videos of me munching on them as a child but after that, it’s as if they sought their psychological revenge by instilling the fear of God into me whenever they came near. I still sometimes have nightmares where I wake up and I’m writhing around in my bed trying to escape a herd of them from collectively giving birth to all their devil children on my pillow.

In order to confront my fear, I decided to make a felt woodlouse, complete with all its offspring in a convenient zippable womb. My experiment didn’t work. The fear is still there and so are the nightmares.

Tunnocks Teatime. I take custom commissions and can make anything, place your order here sewyoursoul@gmail.com

Cold Angel: Draping A Giant

An artist creates a piece of work and his contemporaries respond to it. It’s been 14 years since the iconic sculpture byAnthony Gormley was completed on the A1 and A167 roads into Tyneside and  after nearly a year of planning and rescheduling, I finally managed to get a team of people together to make my idea possible. The objective was to respond to an incredibly famous artwork in a comedic way that was going to endear its viewers to an otherwise quite muted and serious monument. On a cold Monday morning in November, thousands of cars and lorries drive past the Angel and it signifies a point in their journey. We were going to try and make their morning commute that little bit more interesting.

For two and a half months, I knitted continuously with the help of Bath Spa University knitting club where we would meet up on Mondays and clatter vigorously at our needles to produce what would become the scarf for the giant of the North East. At 76 stitches wide on size ten needles, I figured this would be the quickest way to produce something of this size in the shortest time. The hefty load of the scarf and after six weeks of knitting one ball of wool each day, it soon became like a ball and chain in my mind. I took this roll of scarf everywhere, it was like an wooly albatross hanging around my neck. I can’t put into words the relief that came when I got the tape measure out and it had finally reached the magic 50.

The team in charge of putting the scarf on the angel consisted of Bradley Garrett of Placehacking fame, Witek the mystery man, Helen Carlton from theeyeofsilence and myself, representing sewyoursoul and wool enthusiasts everywhere. One of us was to be in charge of filming, one in charge of still shots, one to climb to the top and one to do the ropes. When it came time to leave our base in Hartlepool, it had started raining and the wind was picking up, throwing the leaves about the road ahead of us. These were probably the worst conditions that could befall us on a night like this. We ideally needed it to be a dry, still and foggy night that would provide us with excellent coverage from observant truck drivers on their way to delivering goods to Gateshead and beyond. Being seen by one of these juggernauts would be fatal to our plan as it would inevitably result in them calling in the sighting to the local constabulary. Cue the blues and twos, a lot of explaining to do and stashing gear into the bushes to conceal our intentions.

We pulled up to the statue which wasn’t immediately visible in the darkness but once in the car park, the beast and our target loomed heavily over us and the butterflies in our stomachs were once again fluttering away to their tune. After unloading all the gear, I headed up the road to hide the car just in case it was seen by a curious passer-by.

I started the night keeping a look out for truck drivers pulling into the lay-by for a rest or cars full of amorous couples looking for fellow voyeurs. It soon became clear that welly boots were the worst possible footwear in this occasion and before long, I was fighting against a deep desire to go and camp out in the car. This was not possible, we were going to complete  this project regardless of temperature, inclination or intervention. A few star-jumps and invisible skiing motions helped bring us back from the brink of hypothermia.

The ropes were attached to the angel for Helen to ascend on by shooting an arrow with fishing wire that cascaded over each wing. It was a little tricky getting it to where we wanted it to be and it certainly didn’t work first time but we got there in the end. Soon Helen was at the top and she was hauling the scarf up to the top of the wing to start wrapping it round the neck. This angel was going to be shivering no more.

One, two, three, four, I declare a felt war!

Giant Squishy Retro Gaming Cushions! Order now to receive in time for Christmas 

www.feltsewgood.com

A friend of mine commissioned me to make some pigeons from the cartoon, ‘Pigeon Street’. Of course I obliged as I remember the cartoon and loved it! If you want your very own little pigeon, I’m making them for £40 each. Every one is handmade by myself and will be delivered to you in a nice little bird box. Put your orders in here: sewyoursoul@gmail.co.uk

As usual, here’s my details if you want to follow my work:

@sewyoursoul

www.lucysparrow.com

www.sewyoursoul.co.uk

www.feltsewgood.com

‘If you lived in Pigeon Street,

Here are the people you could meet,
Here are the people who would say
Hello, Goodbye, Hello, Goodbye
Every day

If you lived in Pigeon Street,
Here are the people you could meet,
Here are the people who would share
the sights, the sounds, the air
Where pigeons beat their wings, wings beat.
Pigeons beat their wings, wings beat
to meet in Pigeon Street’

As some of you know, I’ve been working super hard to get all the felt and wool ready for ‘Dickensian Hauntings’ which is currently showing in the basement of Shoreditch Town Hall. The opening on the 27th was a great success so I thought I’d upload some photos of my Miss Havisham room. There’s some great work by loads of really talented artists, I’m sad that my camera battery died  after I’d only taken a few of the felt but I’m hoping to get some more on take down day this Friday.

If you’re in London and haven’t seen the show yet, here’s the details. It’s a real must-see, you won’t be disappointed!

THE VENUE.

The Basement Shoreditch Town Hall, 380 Old Street, London, EC1V 9LT

DATES & TIMES

28th Sept 2012-4th Oct
Open daily 11am-7pm Free
Late Night Openings:
Sat 29th Sept & Thurs 4th Oct till 10pm

Last admission is 15 mins before closing time

TRAVEL

By tube or rail: Old Street (Exit 3 ) 6 mins walk, Liverpool Street 12mins walk . Shoreditch High Street London Overground station is approximately 7 minutes’ walk